Be Notorious

The book YOU need to get TODAY and let change your life.

According to the online Webster definition of Notorious, it means:
adj; generally known and talked of; especially: widely and unfavorably known.

This doesn’t sound all that great. I’ll probably never be widely talked of (I’m no celebrity) and the idea of being unfavorably known? That’s a little scary. It’s scary to think that people might not like me.
HOWEVER. This is the quote that’s been changing my life lately:
“Run from what’s comfortable. Forget safety. Live where you fear to live. Destroy your reputation. Be notorious.” -Rumi

I’ve been obsessed with Rumi lately. The old poet who speaks so often of love, God, life and relationships… well, his words truly are life changing. This quote in particular really gets to me.
Take the first line…

Run from what’s comfortable.

Why should I? My life is very comfortable. I’ve been enjoying things. I have a lot to look forward to each and every day. But have I truly felt alive? Have I felt that through all of this comfort, a reason why I might be here on this Earth? No. I know that in order to make a difference and live a life that matters, I need to be uncomfortable. What I’m not sure about is whether it will be a mild discomfort or a big one. I guess I’m kind of ready for both.

Now let’s face the second line…

Forget safety.

What’s safe? The first thing that popped into my head, which I’m sure most  people won’t really agree with, was not having a dog to take care of. Wearing all of my layers in order to not freeze to death… making sure I wake up in time to make coffee and prepare an awesomely healthy breakfast… which means going to bed early enough to do that… safety is everywhere. In every action I’ve been taking. What does this mean? Forget safety? I don’t think it means that I should stop wearing my seatbelt or anything like that. However, I think it means going out on a limb. It means living enough to let things happen, whether they are good or bad. I won’t actually put myself in danger, but I won’t take every little precaution necessary to be safe. If I’m safe my entire life, well… that doesn’t make for much of a life.

Live where you fear to live.

What does that mean to you? For so many it means alone. For some it means living in a new place. It means taking that new job or quitting that old one. It means going for your dream even if you go broke trying to do so. Live where you fear to live. That will make getting up every day much more interesting… wouldn’t you agree?

Destroy your reputation.

Now, I’m not talking Kristen Stewart style or anything. This is inspiring because it really brings home this: It does not matter what other people think. How in the world could it matter? No one else is with you 24/7. YOU are the only one living with your every day actions. You are the only one who should care about your reputation… which means the way you think about yourself!!! Wouldn’t it be funny to hear someone say, “Yeah, I think I have a pretty good reputation. I mean… I like myself.” That would be refreshing. Not only would that person A) be awesome because they truly didn’t care what other people thought, but they’d also B) be even more awesome because they truly liked themselves. I’m craving more people in my life who truly love who they’ve become. I love authenticity, but without the pretentiousness that sometimes comes along with that. Would you be acting differently if reputation had nothing to do with it? That’s what inspires me. I need to do what I want to do, regardless of what others think. Even if that destroys my reputation. My current one, anyway. I guess we’ll always have one. It just might change!!

And finally…

Be notorious.

Which to me, means live with bravery. Be known for doing something crazy or exciting. Be known for going out on a limb and not giving up when you land on your stomach and get the wind knocked out of you. Anyone can survive that… after you get past the part where you can’t breathe.

So I’ll be doing my best to live out Rumi’s words. I feel TRULY inspired. I hope you do, too!!

Things I {Hate To} Love Part II

Haters gonna hate.

My first {Hate To} love post was my most read blog yet. Why? I think it’s because we all have secret loves and sometimes they are embarrassing. I’m taking a stand! Be proud!! :) Here is Part II to my unashamed list. <3

1. Hilary Duff

She gets hated on all the time, but I love her. Lizzy McGuire was a great show, back in the day. She has grown into a very beautiful woman and I fancy that she and I even look alike… Looks like she is an awesome mom, too. She is never really in the news for doing anything slutty or gross. She has remained classy in my eyes. She has obviously struggled with weight, which we can all relate to, and has come out a very healthy looking gal!

2. Kristen Stewart

I can’t even believe I am typing these words. I really do HATE to love her. For a very long time I was convinced that I just plain hated her. Now… I have done a lot of soul searching and rethinking on this topic. For one thing, she has become a better actress as the Twilight movies progressed. Yes: She is a little bit emotionless, we all know this. But something in her disappointment and utter sadness in New Moon is very believable. I was nervous to see her acting “motherly” and she did a good job in Breaking Dawn Part I. I was pleasantly surprised. I think she was believable and sweet! The whole “emotionless” thing she has going on is just who she is, obviously. Maybe we should all give her a break and accept it. It works!

Oh, and then there’s the cheating scandal. I really hated her good and dirty for a few days. But then I really started thinking… WE DON’T KNOW A SINGLE THING!! We don’t!! Who knows!!! Not that it would be a valid excuse, but maybe Robert Pattinson is a d-bag! Maybe she needed some relief, and unfortunately, that relief came in the form of a married father… but a little teensy tiny part of me understands, or at least is giving her some slack. She and Robert might not even be a real couple. They’re famous, after all. It’s not as if we can pretend like anything we read about celebrities (even if it’s from People Magazine… One of the more reliable sources…) contains actual facts. I don’t think it’s a good thing that the scandal happened, don’t get me wrong, but as I thought about it more and more I kept thinking who are we to judge her? Or him? Or the entire situation? When we are in private and talking with someone, there are emotions that rise and sometimes they’re only for those two people to understand. I can give her that.

Also: for a long time I wanted to think she wasn’t that pretty. I wanted to think that her skinny boy body wasn’t attractive and someone else should have played the role of Bella. But I’ve changed my mind. I realized that all this hate I had was really some weird form of jealousy….because I actually think she’s gorgeous!! THERE. I said it. Finally. Whew. I think she is beautiful and I even kind of like her “f*** you” attitude. She has guts. I love her. I feel like some weight has lifted, now that I’ve gone and said it. Again…WHEW.

3. Having Plants Inside.

Our Tree

This feels like it should be on the “stuff white people like” list, but I don’t think it is. I was hesitant to get plants… it is a commitment. Not as big of a commitment as getting a dog or something, but at the end of the day it’s still something that puts effort into keeping alive. I am not very confident in my ability to keep these new plants of ours alive, but I really like them. I am almost looking forward to getting a sunburn so I can use the aloe.

Aloe Plants!

4. The TED Conference

I watched a few of these videos back in the day when I was an Education student at UNM. Some of these talks were so amazing. A few were boring, but for the most part I enjoyed them. I need to watch more. Any good suggestions?

5. Girls With Bangs

I have too many girl crushes, and yes, most of them have bangs. Perhaps I’ll never get my own bangs (but in elementary school my bangs were awesome) but I’ll always admire those who do.

This was a not-so-fluffy day. Notice the Paula Abdul shirt….

6. Apples to Apples

I LOVE GAMES. All games, actually. I love a good card game. I love FARKLE (again, thanks Cindy!) and Apples to Apples and Bananagrams… I’d even play twister if the moment presented itself (which it hasn’t since I was little.) I get really into games. I get loud and yell and stand up from my chair. However, the cool thing is, I am not actually competitive. It drives Greg crazy. If we’re on the same team, and someone else does really well, I’ll get so excited. I’ll shout, “Oh my gosh! GOOD JOB!!!” And possibly high-five them! I just love the fun involved, yet I have no competitive bone in my body.  The only game I probably wouldn’t play (again) is that Ouija Board. That’s too freaky.

7. Never Wearing Nail Polish

I wish I could look cute and wear it all the time. Just like tattoos, it’s another thing I try to compliment other girls on. I love the grey nail polish that’s been so IN this year. It looks so put together, so cute, so grown-up. Yet I have only worn it twice in the last three years, and one of those times was my own wedding. I can’t do my own… it always gets messed up. I also never do the upkeep necessary. I hate chipped nails so much, it’s not even worth it to me to paint them. Also, if my nails get long enough to see any white, it grosses me out. I keep them really short! Yes, I wish it wasn’t this way.

8. Family Guy

I LOVE THIS SHOW. I laugh out loud all the time. It’s one of my guilty pleasures. I think it’s hilarious and I don’t even care when it’s totally rude and politically incorrect. I know some of you will agree and some of you will gasp in horror.

9. Googling Celebrity Pictures

This one makes me sound like a real creeper. I just like seeing who wore their hair a certain way, or just how cute so and so looked in her latest tabloid picture. My top searches? (all girls, haha) Melanie Laurent, Ashley Greene, Jennifer Lawrence, Kristen Stewart, and Hilary Duff. <3

10. Facebook

Really. Our generation is so obsessed, right? But I like my author Facebook page. My regular page has been a huge tool for me to keep in touch with my grandparents and other family members. It’s uplifting when people comment on a blog that I mention, or a photo from an epic night. It’s fun. I don’t want to love it. I’d love to NOT have a FB page. However, I won’t do that. I have too many great pictures on there… with friends and family. I think it’s been a mostly positive thing. I am only worried about the kids who really are obsessed. I am way more worried about smartphones, though… I will never have one!! Don’t even get me started on how creepy the whole thing is… like we’re all just being tracked and watched through the phones, and even simple internet use. I try to keep all of this to a minimum. It honestly puts goosebumps on my arm when Greg looks up some drumming equipment, and then all of a sudden every single ad that shows up is related to music. HOW DOES IT KNOW? Smart computer people have told me there are ways to clear memory and avoid this, but still. The info is out there. Forever. I’ll keep my flip phone and be happy with it, thank you very much. The saddest thing about this is no instagram. That would be convenient to have! But it’s a price I’m willing to pay. (This is the most conspiracy theory-ish I get. haha I swear!)  

If you missed Part I, here it is. Take a look. See if you and I have anything in common! Tell me what you hate to love… or just love.

<3

Too Many Thoughts

Living A Novel

By Melinda Williams

I’d rather life resemble

a Steinbeck novel

I’d rather starve

or lose a house

or drive Route 66

or have an evil mother

or kill for the greater good

Than risk living the life

of a chick-lit novel

Where I’d never feel anything real

Just what others did to me

Above is my latest poem. I’ve been writing them lately. I jot down poems here and there, or little thoughts of inspiration.  A friend of mine got me this little book and it has been life changing. See? Here it is, and look how messy my handwriting is!

My Little Notebook! I take it EVERYWHERE

I highly recommend doing something like this. It’s for life’s little thoughts. Or big thoughts… either one, really. Why not have a place where you can jot down a note or two, perhaps an inspiring quote, and maybe even journal in when it’s needed? These little books are so cheap and fit in a pocket, even!

Anyway. This blog is not an ad for tiny notebooks. It’s a blog I’m writing, pondering WHY I’ve become someone who would stay awake and write a blog past midnight. (while sitting in the hallway in front of the heater… because I am frozen. Where’s that whiskey…?)

WHY have I become a person who would stay up that late anyway? I used to be a “get 8 hours of sleep” kind of a gal. Now… lately… I’ve been functioning on far less. Mostly, this is because of fun nights spent with friends when we drink way too much wine and then all have to work the next day. But partly, and more and more frequently, it’s because I cannot sleep and my thoughts are carrying me away with them. Yes. Carrying me away. My thoughts are like little ants in a cartoon of a picnic, and I’m the sandwich, slowly getting further away from the person who prepared it…

That’s a horrible analogy! But I think it kind of works!

I’ve been trying to make quotes like these my mantras:

amazing, huh?

OR

I laugh out loud to myself MANY times a day. It’s awesome

Life IS too short not to try to live by these. What does the first quote mean? Well, if you haven’t yet made a few mistakes in life, this isn’t for you. AKA, everyone can probably relate to this. I love the idea that there is this constant gray area, LIFE, that lies between right and wrong. Who’s to say what is right and what is wrong, anyway? There’s always two sides to every story. There are always hearts involved… always personal feelings and actions. It’s just like Justin Townes Earle (one of my favorite singers) says in one of his songs…”Who am I to say?” Therefore, I hope we can all agree to meet up with each other in life. I hope that you and someone, or many people (maybe someone you love, maybe someone you cannot stand) can agree to meet out in that “field” and live life, regardless of blame or “right and wrong.”

The second quote is pretty obvious. And I really, truly hope that you all find a moment to laugh by yourself at least once a day. Think of a funny moment you’ve experienced lately. Read the comics! Make a funny face and then shake with laughter knowing that you are the only one who knows you just did that… (or if you have, say, a twin, make funny faces to each other when no one else is aware… that is pure joy!)

On bad days, or moments when I’m not feeling so great, it’s quotes like these that plague me:

Ugh

OR

Exactly. Memory can be a monster!!!

I’ve really been trying to live in the moment. Not in such a “you only live once” kind of a way… but in a “I need to quiet my freaking brain for at least a second, please” kind of a way.

Do you go over the exact same thought again and again?

Are you riddled with the if’s of your last choice?

Do you over worry about someone else’s reaction to something you’ve done, knowing full well that you are being silly?

I think we all do. I sure hope I’m not alone in this! This is WHY I’ve been trying not to let my memory monsters get the better of me. Memories can be beautiful and peaceful and filled with the best moments of life… I’m not saying that remembering is a bad thing. But hanging on to those moments can be less than helpful in your every day life, particularly when clinging to a bad memory. After all, that is NOT what is happening RIGHT NOW… whenever right now is for you. The same goes with worries about the future.

I’ve heard stress is only a reaction to something we think might happen. It’s rarely a physical reaction to something that is literally happening that moment. Which is exactly why I’m trying so hard to live in the moment. I don’t want to live in the past, whether I’m enjoying a good memory or crying over an awful one. I don’t want to stress about what tomorrow or next week might bring. I want to be present. I want to be thankful for each moment as it comes. It sounds cheesy, but I have to constantly remind myself that tomorrow is not promised. It’s not for sure that I’ll even have to face {input awful outcome of such and such decision here}. I’m trying my hardest not to worry about these things.

So for now, I’ll keep sitting in front of the heater (it’s now much later… or earlier in the morning, rather…), probably writing in my little notebook. I’ll also be trying to quiet my mind.

Oh, and I’m listening to Paper Forest by Emmy the Great. This song has some amazing lines. I listen to it over and over… I’m obsessed. Give it a listen. See if you can get the connection between what I’m trying to say here and what she says in the song.

“It’s like these days I have to write down almost every thought I’ve held

So scared I am becoming of forgetting how it felt

And these fears they will unravel me one day

But still I am afraid…”

Emmy the Great, Paper Forest

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